Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Love Languages

It amazes me how from birth, or really even for me, even before our kids were born, it was very easy to tell the differences in each of our kids personalities.  They are all born with their own likes and dislikes, their own temperaments, and their own love languages.  For those who may not be familiar with what the love languages are, there are Five main love languages:  Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Physical Touch, Acts of Service and Receiving Gifts.  Each of us has a main love language, and may also have a couple of secondary love languages.  Our Primary love language is the way that we want and need to be shown by others, and also the way that we tend to show love to others.  There are a couple of different books about the love languages.  It's something that Rob and I have tried to be aware of with each other.  My main love language is Physical touch, and we joke (well...half joke)  that my secondary one is a little bit of every other one!  :)  (Which is one of the reasons that Rob teases that I'm high-maintenance)  And Rob's main ones tend to be Words of Affirmation and Acts of service.  We try to make an effort to show love to each other in in the ways each of us wants and need to be shown.  Since having children, we've also tried to be aware of what each of their love languages are.  Even with as young as our children are, I feel like I can tell pretty easily what each of theirs is.  Alia, I believe is most certainly Words of Affirmation.  She is the one who is CONSTANTLY needing praise and approval.  Many days, I feel like half of my conversations with her go something like this:  "Mom, did I do good on this?"  or "Mom, Look at this!  Look what I did! How did I do?"  or  "Mom, look at my outfit.  Do I look pretty?  ....Really Pretty?  ....Really, Really Pretty???"  She needs a LOT of praise!!!    And Ethan, I am already pretty sure will be Physical Touch.  From the day he was born, if he was upset or tired or fussy at all, no matter what the reason, if you would lay your hand on him, or pick him up, snuggle him, hug him, etc...he would calm right down.  And he still does.  He LOVES to snuggle, and since my love language is also physical tough, and I also LOVE to snuggle, this makes me very happy!  :)  Lately, it has become very apparent that Karaline thrives on Quality Time!  She LOVES when she gets to go somewhere or do something alone with one of us.  She especially loves time alone with Rob.  It's SO sweet!  With Rob being a lot busier lately with Harvest and work, Karaline hasn't had as much one-on-one time with either of us.  So, tonight, Rob took her out for some "me and you"  time.  She was SO excited!  When Rob got home, we went outside to greet him, and she told him, "This is the BEST day EVER!"  Then, she ran back in to get her shoes, rushed back out by herself, climbed up in the truck and started getting buckled in.  When Rob when over to help her, she gave him a big, sweet hug.  And when they got home, she was beaming.  It can be a bit exhausting at times to make sure you are doing your best to show each person love in the way that they need to be shown it, but it is also so rewarding when you see in their faces that they know how much you love them! 

3 comments:

  1. Yes!!! She was indeed thrilled to have that time alone with Daddy! We saw them...and visited for a minute....and oh my! The joy on her face radiated!!!

    You are SO right about tuning into each child's unique needs....and spending time alone with each one.....It's precious time!!!

    Love you so!!! Your mamainlaw!!! :)

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  2. Great post! I love the book on love languages! I agree with you 100% about our children having their own love language from birth! My kids couldn't more opposite if they tried!
    Ryan is more words of affirmation or gifts (as in he likes to get them and when he does he feels loved and valued) and Molly is very much physical touch! I can never seem to put her down w/o her fussing!

    It is so hard to show your spouse THEIR love language instead of your own! I think something more couples should learn and discuss with each other about! Imagine how much your marriage would improve if you should your spouse their love language instead of your own! I know it can be hard (as I'm not a physical touch person and that's my hubby!) but you can see the difference it makes when you do it!!

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  3. Cheryl- Yes, the joy DEFINITELY radiated from Karaline's face that night!!! She was in Heaven!!!

    Erica- I agree, it can be really hard to show your spouse their love language! But it definitely helps when you are able to! I don't remember if this was in the book or just an illustration I heard somewhere else, but I remember reading/hearing that love languages are like "foreign languages" and if you're speaking french and your spouse is speaking Chinese, and you're trying to tell the person "I love you" in your own language, the other people doesn't understand it, so you need to learn how to say it in the other person's language. That really made it click for me. It definitely can be hard though!!! I agree that it's something more couples should learn about- that book, and one...I think it's called "Love and Respect- the love she desires, and the respect he needs"...(or something like that~ it's a really good book too!!!)

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