The "When You Are's"

Last night I went to The Chapel for a womens conference where the author and speaker Angela Thomas was speaking.  Honestly, I had didn't know what she was going to speaking on, and am not sure that I had ever even heard of her, but I really felt like I needed a spiritual pick-me up and thought this would be great.  The worship time was great, and as soon as Angela started speaking, I knew she was good, and it was one of those times where you feel like she was speaking directly to me.  She gave her testimony of growing up in a Christian home, going to Bible college, doing everything she was "supposed"  to do to be a "good Christian girl," but 10 years ago found herself separated, divorced and the single mother of 4 young children.  She told of how she cried out to God, saying, "What are you going to do with me, a broken down God-girl," and "Do you still think I'm Beautiful" (the title of one of her books).  She also spoke about Matthew chapter 5-  the "Beattitudes"  and how growing up, she always read those verses "Blessed are the poor in spirit...Blessed are those who m ourn...Blessed are the meek...Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness..." and always felt that those were the "Gotta-Be's."   You "gotta-be"  poor in spirit, you "gotta-be" meek, etc.  And wondered how you can be all those things all the time.  Then in college, she started feeling like God was saying that they aren't "Gotta Be's,"  but "When you are's."   "When you are" poor in spirit...  come to ME (Christ) and I will and when you are hungry and thirsty, Come to Me, and I will give you living water.  She talked about her days as a single mom, and how she was normally patient and kind and tried to keep joy in the house, but how there were times that she might yell at them, "JUST GET IN THE CAR!"...  and how they would look at her, knowing that wasn't how she usually was, and how at some point she came to realize those were the cries of a spiritually empty woman.  That hit me pretty hard.  Lately, I've been struggling spiritually. My patience with the kids has been, well, lets say lacking lately.   On some level, I've known it was because I wasn't where I need be spiritually, but had trouble getting out of this rut.  It was in some ways, a slap in the face, but honestly, one that was needed.  I felt so challenged, so uplifted, and so encouraged.  She gave a demonstration of all those little things that can quickly drain your spiritual tank, and how we just have to take a drink of the "Jesus Water."  ...the water that gives eternal life, the water that will quench your thirst in a way that we can't even comprehend.  So, today, I've been taking a lot of drinks of that "Jesus Water."  When I feel a bit frustrated, or short on patience, I literally go get a cup of water, take a sip and say a prayer.  Last night coming home, the song "The Power of your Love"  kept going through my head.

"Lord, I come to you.  Let my heart be changed, renewed. 
Flowing from the grace that I found
In You
Lord I've come to know
The weakness I see in me
Will be stripped away
By the power of Your love
Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait
I'll rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
By the power of Your love
Lord unveil my eyes
Let me see You face to face
The knowledge of Your love as You live
In me
Lord renew my mind
As Your will unfolds my life
In living every day
By the power of Your love